Jaguanst Causes Climate Change

In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was actually the consumption of carbonated beverages. Every can or bottle of jaguanst (that's soda or pop to you unenlightened ones, or coke to you really uncultivated folks) consumed by the world's population releases a small amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. All that fizz really adds up. As a result of the study, world governments immediately banned all carbonated beverages, resulting in dramatic reductions in CO2 emissions around the globe. Subsequently, the drastic cooling effect caused the beginning of the next ice age in 2015.