Handlebar Mustache: The Origin

In 1815 George invented the handlebar mustache; however no one understood the name. So in 1817 he invented the velocipede and suddenly everyone knew what handlebars were. The handlebar mustache was wildly popular, especially among military generals, guys who like twirling things absentmindedly, villains, and guys named Vern. Neal's invention of the unibrow was not quite as well received. Our collaboration on mutton chop sideburns was extremely popular, however, and we urge everyone to go out and get one.